My Go-To Tomato Sauce Recipe

See my lovely bowl of tomatoes?

But alas there is one that is not like the others.. can you spot it?

See, this dude here saw me pull out the food processor and started squealing, " I am a potato!!"

Alas.. his nose did grow. and rot a bit at that.

Even a nose job didn't help. Guess what kiddos? Plastic surgery is not the answer.

Oh tomato man, haven't you heard the wise old saying, "Liar liar pants on fire?" And why do you think they're burning? Cause liars -->hell and hell = burning.

Simple math y'all.

WARNING! graphic photos ahead.

And:

It's time to meet your maker.

No, seriously.. After you wash and stem your tomatoes you want to pulverize them.. a blender, food processor, or even a grater will work.

Then you dump 'em(I had about 6 cups) into a large pot over high heat.

You want to save all the goodness left in your machine by swishing about a cup of water around inside. Be sure not to over-swish and get it all over your pants like I did. And then dump it in your pot.

Now for the usual suspects: 3 tablespoons of olive oil.. And 1 teaspoon of dried basil, dried oregano, and salt each.

Then a pinch of sugar, Yes, sugar. Tomatoes are full of acid and the sweetness of the sugar balances it out. Just like when your 2 year old niece is turning purple from her screaming so you give her candy to shut her up. same thing. don't tell my sister I do that. even though she's totally reading this. iloveyoudon'tkillmethanks.

On a side note( as if there isn't already plenty of those) that was my brothers hand doing the pinching featured in the photo above. As a result of his help, I was subjected to the following:

"Look! You can see the whole line of the laser not just the point cause of the steam! Coool! Turn off the lights.. Turn em off! turn them-" and then I killed him. mentally.severaltimes.

Anyways, you give it all a good mix and once it's boiling you lower the fire to medium low and let it sit for hours.

No really. The longer you leave it, the better it tastes. As long as you remember to mix it every half an hour or so, it'll be fine. I usually leave it for about 2 and a half hours, or until it's nice and thick with most of the liquid boiled out.

Now before you start hyperventilating, you can totally only cook it for 20 minutes. No biggie. Just taste it before you turn it off.. If it's yummy your set to go and if not, then just play with the seasoning till it is.

Now you may eat. Just pretend this isn't just a jar of sauce and that there's a picture of maybe pasta with the sauce on a nice plate here, since I was making this batch for the freezer.. It freezes great, and it'll be fine for six months. After that, eat with caution.

My Go-To Tomato Sauce

6 cups chopped tomatoes
1 cup water
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon salt
pinch of sugar

1.) Add all the ingredients into a large pot over high heat.

2.) Lower the fire to medium low when it comes to a boil.

3.) Mix every half an hour until the sauce has reached your desired conisitency and flavor.

You can store it in your fridge in a jar for up to a week, or freeze it for up to 6 months. Enjoy :)

For those you in Egypt: You can find dried herbs at large supermarkets like Carrefour, Hyper, and Fathallah either in little overpriced conatiners in the spice section, or at the 3aytarra(the spice man/counter) Dried basil is called rayhan madhooun and dried oregano is called z3ataar. Yes, I do use the number 3 to refer to the letter 3yn. get over it.